How to Help an Alcoholic Family Member
Written by The Orlando Recovery Center
& Medically Reviewed by Dr. Kevin Wandler, MD
Medically Reviewed
Up to Date
Last Updated - 02/09/2025
View our editorial policyWhen your loved one is struggling with alcoholism, you may be unsure how to help them. Intentional support can encourage their recovery and help your family heal from the impact of addiction.
Around 28.9 million U.S. individuals 12 years and older have an alcohol use disorder (AUD). Each of these people comes from a family, community or group of friends who are also dealing with the negative effects of their alcoholism. A person’s loved ones are uniquely positioned to support and motivate them to begin treatment. Figuring out how to best help someone facing AUD is possible, and there are resources and professionals to assist you.
When Does Drinking Become Problematic?
Alcohol is a socially accepted substance in many cultures, often consumed at gatherings, celebrations and even casual dinners. While moderate drinking is common, it can be difficult to discern when the line has been crossed from social drinking into misuse or dependency.
Alcohol use can become problematic when it starts affecting daily life: work, school, relationships, and mental or physical health. For some, a glass of wine on the weekend may be no cause for concern, but if that single glass turns into several on most nights — accompanied by mounting negative consequences — it may indicate that alcohol use has become a problem.
Signs of an Alcohol Use Disorder
An alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a clinical term that describes a pattern of problematic drinking. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), AUD can range from mild to severe, depending on the number of symptoms present. Some of the common signs include:
- Increased Tolerance: Needing more alcohol to achieve the same effect or noticing that drinking the same amount has less impact than it used to.
- Withdrawal Symptoms: Experiencing symptoms like anxiety, shaking, irritability, sweating or nausea when alcohol use is stopped or reduced.
- Cravings: Feeling a strong urge or compulsion to drink.
- Neglected Responsibilities: Missing work, school or family obligations due to drinking or recovering from drinking episodes.
- Inability To Cut Down: Making unsuccessful attempts to limit alcohol intake or quit altogether.
- Continued Use Despite Consequences: Persisting in drinking even though it causes relationship problems, health issues or impacts other important areas of life.
- Spending Excessive Time: Devoting a great deal of time to obtaining, using or recovering from alcohol.
If you recognize these symptoms in a family member, it may be time to discuss professional assistance.
Investigate Ways to Treat Alcohol Addiction.
One of the most impactful steps you can take is researching treatment options for alcohol addiction. This helps you understand the range of services, costs, timelines and commitments required, which in turn allows you to guide your loved one toward the appropriate level of care.
- Detox Programs: Medically supervised detox is often the first step for people with severe dependence. This provides medical and emotional support while the body clears alcohol.
- Inpatient Rehab: Inpatient or residential treatment involves living at a treatment facility for a set period. This structured setting can provide round-the-clock care, therapy and support.
- Outpatient Programs: Outpatient treatment allows individuals to receive therapy, counseling and medical support without living at a facility. It’s often recommended for those with stable home environments or less severe addictions.
- Therapy and Counseling: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Motivational Interviewing (MI) and family therapy are common approaches. These therapies aim to uncover the root causes of addiction and develop coping strategies.
- Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT): Medications such as naltrexone, acamprosate or disulfiram can help reduce cravings and maintain sobriety.
By laying out these options, you’ll be more prepared to discuss them with your loved one. You can also consult professional resources such as the Orlando Recovery Center, which provides a full continuum of care for alcohol addiction, from initial detox to aftercare and ongoing support.
What to Do If Your Loved One Doesn’t Want Help
It can be heartbreaking when someone you care for refuses help or even denies there is a problem. In such cases, patience and strategic communication are key:
- Express Concern Without Judgment: Frame your observations with compassion. For example, say, “I’m worried about you. I’ve noticed you’re drinking more, and I want you to be healthy,” rather than using blaming or shaming language.
- Use “I” Statements: Focus on how their drinking affects you and the family: “I feel scared when you drive after drinking,” or “I miss spending quality time with you.”
- Offer Solutions: Gently introduce the idea of a professional evaluation or therapy. Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Encourage Small Steps: Sometimes, suggesting a less intimidating step (e.g., attending a support group meeting or talking to a counselor) can be more appealing than immediately proposing residential rehab.
- Set Boundaries: While you may want to do everything possible to help, enabling your loved one can inadvertently prolong the addiction. Let them know the behaviors you will not tolerate, such as drunk driving or disruptive behavior at family events.
Ultimately, you cannot force someone to accept help, but you can continue to offer support, love and resources. Over time, the individual may become more receptive as they experience the consequences of their drinking.
Can You Force Someone To Go to Rehab?
In most cases, an individual must volunteer for rehab. Compulsory treatment can be controversial and, depending on the jurisdiction, only allowed under specific circumstances. In some states, including Florida, there are statutes like the Marchman Act that permit family members to petition the court for involuntary treatment when a loved one’s substance use poses a danger to themselves or others.
- Legal Requirements: Each state has specific regulations. In Florida, for instance, you must demonstrate that the person has lost self-control over substance use, that they are likely to harm themselves or others, and that they lack the ability to make rational decisions regarding treatment.
- Effectiveness: Compulsory rehab can be effective for some, but unwilling participants may have a lower initial motivation to change. Nonetheless, some studies suggest that even mandated treatment can lead to better outcomes than no treatment at all.
- Consult Professionals: If you’re considering legal options, consult an attorney and an addiction specialist who is familiar with the local laws and can guide you through the process.
Even if forced rehab is legally possible, treatment often works best when the individual is willing to participate in their own recovery journey. Use involuntary treatment as a last resort, and only after consulting with legal and healthcare professionals.
Learning About Addiction as a Disease
Understanding the disease model of addiction can help you approach your loved one from a place of empathy and knowledge. Research has shown that addiction involves both physical and psychological components, including changes in brain chemistry.
- Neurobiology of Addiction: Chronic alcohol use alters neurotransmitter levels and can rewire reward and stress response pathways in the brain.
- Genetic Factors: Some people have a higher genetic predisposition to develop alcohol use disorders than others.
- Environmental Influences: Trauma, stress, peer pressure and other environmental factors can contribute to addiction.
- Co-Occurring Disorders: Many individuals with AUD also struggle with mental health issues like depression, anxiety or PTSD.
By learning about addiction, you can better appreciate why willpower alone may not be enough to overcome an alcohol use disorder. Empathy and understanding can pave the way for productive conversations and encourage your loved one to engage in treatment.
How to Support Someone During Rehab and Recovery
When your family member decides to seek treatment, your supportive role can make a tremendous difference in their recovery. Here’s how you can help:
- Stay Involved: Attend family therapy sessions or support groups if recommended. Involvement shows your commitment to their recovery and can help resolve underlying family dynamics that may contribute to substance use.
- Practice Open Communication: Encourage honest and healthy dialogue. Recovery often involves addressing painful emotions; being a willing listener can help your loved one process these feelings.
- Respect Boundaries: Rehab programs and recovery professionals may recommend specific guidelines for communication or visitation, especially in the early stages. Respect these boundaries to avoid interfering with the treatment process.
- Offer Practical Help: If they’re in inpatient rehab, you might help with household tasks, pets or childcare. Removing real-world stressors can allow them to focus fully on treatment.
Your presence and support can motivate your loved one to continue working toward sobriety, making the initial days of treatment less daunting.
Identifying Relapse Triggers
Relapse is often part of the long-term recovery process, and understanding triggers is a vital step in minimizing the risk. A trigger is any internal or external stimulus that prompts cravings or alcohol-seeking behavior. Common triggers include:
- Stress and Emotional Distress: Financial worries, relationship conflicts or high-pressure work environments can intensify the urge to drink.
- Social Settings: Parties, bars or events where alcohol is prominently available.
- Unhealthy Relationships: Contact with friends who still misuse alcohol or enable drinking can create a relapse-prone environment.
- Mental Health Issues: Co-occurring mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can exacerbate cravings if left unmanaged.
- Physical or Environmental Cues: Specific objects, places or even certain times of the day can evoke memories of drinking.
Help your family member by discussing potential triggers openly. Suggest strategies or resources for coping, such as therapy, mindfulness techniques or support groups.
Strategies for Preventing Relapse
Once you’ve identified potential triggers, the next step is to develop a concrete relapse prevention plan. Here are some evidence-based strategies:
- Therapy and Counseling: Continued counseling (individual, group or family) can provide a safe space to address triggers and learn coping skills.
- Build a Support Network: Encourage participation in peer support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery. A robust support system can provide accountability and understanding.
- Stress Management: Techniques like exercise, meditation, yoga or journaling can help manage emotional distress without resorting to alcohol.
- Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Emphasize proper nutrition, regular sleep patterns and physical activity. These habits improve mental and physical health, reducing the appeal of alcohol.
- Avoid High-Risk Situations: Create an action plan to handle social events where alcohol may be present. This might mean leaving early or attending with a sober support friend.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness-based relapse prevention helps people become more aware of their thoughts, urges and emotional states, enabling them to respond rather than react to triggers.
Encourage your loved one to revisit and update their relapse prevention plan regularly, especially during times of stress or significant life changes.
Continued Support and Aftercare for Alcohol Rehabilitation
Recovery doesn’t end the day a person leaves rehab; in many ways, it’s a lifelong journey. Aftercare ensures that the coping skills and strategies learned in treatment continue to be reinforced:
- Sober Living Homes: These structured living environments can provide a supportive community and accountability during the early stages of sobriety.
- Regular Check-Ins: Outpatient therapy sessions or alumni programs can help maintain a connection with counseling resources and peer support.
- Support Group Meetings: Attending regular 12-step or other recovery-based meetings can provide ongoing community and shared wisdom.
- Continuing Education and Skill-Building: Some facilities offer life skills training, career counseling or educational workshops to help individuals rebuild their lives.
- Monitoring and Accountability: Drug and alcohol testing can help deter relapse. Some programs incorporate testing as part of the aftercare plan.
Family members can support aftercare by encouraging attendance at follow-up appointments, celebrating milestones and remaining alert to early signs of relapse.
Steps to Take If Your Loved One Relapses
Relapse is often a difficult setback, but it doesn’t erase the progress your loved one has made. Here are steps you can take:
- Respond With Compassion: Avoid shame or guilt. While it’s natural to feel disappointed or frustrated, negative reactions can push the individual away from seeking help.
- Encourage Returning to Treatment: Sometimes, a short-term relapse can be managed with increased therapy sessions or support group meetings. In more severe cases, a partial hospitalization or inpatient program may be necessary.
- Reassess the Recovery Plan: Identify what contributed to the relapse. Were there unmet mental health needs, increased stressors, or lack of support?
- Learn From Mistakes: Relapse can provide valuable lessons on what triggers to avoid and what coping strategies need strengthening.
- Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone through relapse can be emotionally draining. Make sure you have your own support system and practice self-care, whether through counseling, support groups or personal hobbies.
Remember, relapse is not failure; it’s an indication that the treatment or coping strategies need adjustment. With professional guidance and continued family support, many people bounce back from relapse stronger and more committed to long-term sobriety.
Alcohol Support Groups and Resources
Supporting a loved one through alcohol addiction can take a toll on family members, too. Luckily, there are numerous organizations designed to help both those struggling with alcohol and their families:
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): The original 12-step program for individuals looking to stop drinking. Meetings are free and available worldwide.
- Al-Anon and Alateen: Companion programs to AA that focus on the friends and family members of alcoholics. Alateen is specifically designed for adolescents.
- SMART Recovery: A non-12-step program that focuses on self-reliance, cognitive strategies and behavioral techniques to achieve abstinence.
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA): Provides evidence-based research, educational materials and resources.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): Offers a national helpline (1-800-662-HELP) that can guide you to local resources and support.
- Orlando Recovery Center: A professional treatment center offering comprehensive services like detox, inpatient rehab, outpatient programs, aftercare and more.
Utilizing these resources can give you and your family member access to immediate support, community and expert guidance.
Find Professional Treatment for Your Loved One
Searching for comprehensive care for your loved one? Orlando Recovery Center provides trauma-informed addiction treatment. Our programs include inpatient rehab, partial hospitalization programs (PHP), and intensive outpatient programs (IOP). Our physician-led facility offers numerous amenities, EMDR therapy and art activities. We are also a proud partner of the VA Community Care Network. Reach out to our team today, and one of our Recovery Advocates will guide you through the admissions process.
FAQs About Getting Loved Ones Addiction Treatment
How can I approach a family member who is struggling with alcoholism?
Approach your loved one with empathy and open communication. Choose a quiet, private setting to voice your concerns and the impact their addiction has had. Use “I” statements when sharing and avoid shaming the individual. Provide treatment options available to them and offer to help them get connected.
How can you help an alcoholic sibling?
Encourage your sibling to seek professional treatment. You can attend therapy or support groups together. Create a supportive, alcohol-free environment at home. Avoid enabling their addiction and prioritize their well-being as well as your own.
How can you support an alcoholic loved one?
Offer emotional support by listening to your loved one and validating their feelings and experiences. Educate yourself about addiction and attend family programs and individual therapy. Work with your other family members to create a safe, sober environment that promotes your loved one’s recovery and wellness. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms, maintain open communication and seek professional guidance when needed.
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